Introduction

On Monday, I began my quest to be the Greatest White Ninja That West Texas has Ever Seen. Or, I suppose in true Ninja fashion, a more appropriate title would be "Greatest White Ninja That West Texas Has Never Seen, But Probably Has Heard About."

So how did I embark on this quest to learn the ways of the Great White Ninja? It started the other night while we were watching a UFC match (fight?) on Pay Per View. These guys were beating the crap out of each other for a substantial amount of time. Now, I've never been in as much as a yelling match, much less a fighting arena, so I figured it was time to get my pasty white self toughened up (See: Harden The F Up, Australia, NSFW language). Now, at the time, this train of thought was merely drunken posturing... While I'm not 100% sure, it is more probable than not that I really had no intentions of signing up with a gym. I can say that a google search and a phone call to Ninja Training School had me signed up for a "Free Preview" by Monday evening.

At the Ninja Training School's "Free Preview," I had the opportunity to meet the owner and proprietor of the school, Professor Ninja. Now, Professor Ninja is probably one of the most squared away individuals I have ever met. From what he told me, he opened his facility when he was 17 years old and has been instructing Ninja Students to become Ninja Masters for almost 20 years. The Instructors at Ninja Training School demonstrated and instructed The Great White Ninja on a basic maneuver designed to subdue a bar assailant. And with the Great White Ninja's uncanny ability to provoke others at drinking establishments, it is most likely that such skills will come in handy in the not so distant future.

After the demonstration, came the hard part -- signing up for Ninja Training Classes. Now, I haven't been involved in many car-sales transactions, but the tactics employed by Ninja Salesman were absolutely incredible. Before I knew what was happening, I was signing a significant contract ensuring that I would be well on my way to becoming the Great White Ninja. Needless to say, I was somewhat apprehensive about signing such a contract since income has been scarce (I have not mastered sufficient skills to be able to hire myself as a Ninja Assassin). However, those fears were quickly brushed aside after First Official Ninja Training Session. Details of this session to follow.