Day 2 - First Blue Stripe

I'm going to talk about my second jiu jitsu lesson, but I'm going to start with the end first. Yours truly earned his first Ninja Stripe on his white belt yesterday. Now before we break out the booze and the marching band in celebration, the only requirement is to show up to 2 lessons. Ever the salesmen, Ninja Staff at Ninja Master's Training Academy explained to me that the purpose for the stripe was to reward me for having the moral fortitude for showing up to two lessons -- a feat which apparently most do not accomplish. Oh, and my payment check for lessons cleared. But I'm pretty sure the two had nothing to do with each other...

Ok, so on to discussing the lesson. The Great White Ninja (me) has been pretty overwhelmed lately working on a research paper so that I don't have to take a final and can graduate school (the regular kind of school... not Ninja Academy). Per my usual, I have been waiting until the last possible second to get this thing done. I definitely lack Ninja Discipline (which I have been promised will change after several Ninja Training Sessions). So, since this paper is due Friday, I have been under quite a bit of self-induced stress trying to get this thing done. And, just to clarify, when I say "trying to get this thing done," I mean staring at a blank computer screen and cursing for hours on end. Needless to say, I was very ready to blow off some steam and whip some people around at Ninja Training Academy.

My wishes were quickly answered upon arriving at Ninja Training Academy, as Ninja Instructor informed us that we would be learning some moves from a standing position and when the opponents have made contact with each other. Now, while I'm writing this, I realize it sounds hyper-technical, but that is only because I suck as an author and not because this isn't something that happens all the time in Real Life (bar fights often have people all sorts of tangled up with each other). My partner for the evening was a kid I'd probably peg around 16 or 17 years old. He also probably had two inches and at least 50 pounds on me, so it was my turn to apply the new Ninja Lessons to attempt to bring down this gentle giant without hurting myself.

The first Ninja Maneuver we worked on was a leg-sweep that turned into me sitting practically on Gentle Giant's head and locking his arm up in a way that would break his elbow if I was really really angry. Still being new at this, I definitely had the Ninja Jitters. For those of you who know me personally, you know that I have a bit of a tremor in my hands. For those of you who don't know me personally, I tend to have a bit of a tremor in my hands (but don't worry, it's not Parkinson's, I got it checked out). This little shake gets much more noticeable when I get nervous. Apparently last night I was pretty nervous because even Gentle Giant noticed the shake. But he was nice about it, so that was pretty cool. First move went pretty ok. It really doesn't take that much to get your opponent in an uncomfortable position. I know that because when I was Gentle Giant's opponent, it didn't take much for him to get me into an uncomfortable position.

The second couple of moves we learned from Ninja Instructor required quite a bit more agility and flexibility. We were supposed to lock our opponent up with moves I can't really describe using real words. There were some Ninja Twists and Ninja Turns and the end product was me on the ground, legs wrapped around Gentle Giant trying to hyper-extend his elbow in an arm-bar. Let me take this moment to say this about Gentle Giant -- he might have been big, but the kid was quick. I had to move slow and deliberate, talking out loud and reminding myself of the next step. Gentle Giant however, had me pinned in a matter of seconds. Apparently he has been doing jiu jitsu since January, so there is hope for me yet.

At the end of the lesson, it was time to drill the moves we learned while the more experienced Ninja Students practiced rounds (called sparring) on each other. In order to have the privilege to spar, you must have a leadership conversation with Ninja Instructor about Leadership and stuff. I am told that conversation is on the horizon. But, in the meantime, I got to practice. The only other Ninja Novices in my class was the Ninja Family that signed up for lessons at the same time that I did. Ninja Family fascinated me from the moment I met them because I never really considered this a family-friendly activity like going to the carnival might be. Ninja Family had the Ninja Patriarch, 5'8" 140 lbs or so, the Ninja Matriarch, 5'8" 150 lbs or so, and three Little Girl Ninjas (13, 13, and 6 years old?). Ninja Patriarch and Ninja Matriarch looked like they would pair up and the two 13 year old Little Girl Ninjas were getting ready to do the same (like they had done for both Ninja Lessons that we attended together) leaving me to be partners with the 6 year old. Thank goodness Ninja Instructor recognized the size differences between me and my partner-to-be and reassigned pairings. I paired up with Ninja Patriarch and we mostly just watched while Ninja Matriarch got her ass kicked by her daughter.

This was a productive lesson. Definitely conquered one of my biggest Ninja Fears -- hitting the ground too hard. The Ninja Training Mats offer quite a bit of support and being thrown around doesn't suck as hard as I thought it would. Looking forward to Saturday for a makeup lesson. As always, I'll keep y'all informed of what happens.