Days 19 & 20 - Private Lesson with Ninja Charlie and Yellow Belt

Jiu jitsu is a sport that is all about details and being able to adapt to your situation at a moment's notice. You could probably say the former about any sport, but my experience is that only in jiu jitsu must you also have the latter. On Thursday, Ninja Charlie was kind enough to drill with me some of the most basic Ninja Techniques - mount escapes. Because I'm still trying to figure out how to start a sparring round, I often find myself flat on my back with my Ninja Adversary (that sounds much cooler than opponent) mounted on top of me. There are at least 2 dozen variations on how a Ninja Adversary can be mounted on top of you (for example: sitting up tall to try and punch your face; sitting low to try and choke your neck; legs spread wide to stabilize; legs close to go for a submission), and each position has its own way to get out of, so Ninja Charlie taught me the three most common positions. There is something to be said about one-on-one instruction, especially with somebody who actually knows what he's doing. During our private session, Ninja Charlie was able to point out small things that I was doing wrong (there were lots of them) which impacted how successful I was at pulling the techniques off. We also spent quite a bit of time drilling scenarios when each technique should be utilized. The attention to detail paid huge dividends during official Ninja Training later that evening.

Since I went to Ninja Training for the 2-3 hours per night each night (depending on what was going on), I felt I was allowed to only go to the first hour of Ninja Masters training. To help make my decision easier, I had been at the pool all day drinking beer, so I was both sunburned and kinda dehydrated. Self-imposed handicaps notwithstanding, Thursday's Ninja Training session was a great success. Ninja Chief Instructor was substituting for Ninja Master and we just reviewed some arm-locks that we had learned the day before. During the sparring is when things got interesting. And when I say interesting, I don't mean like completely outrageous, I just mean that for the first time, I was kinda able to control the situation I was in rather than just curl up in the fetal position and count the seconds down until our rounds were over. Having just a bit of offense allowed me to take much needed breaks during the round where I could relax and catch my breath, even if it was just for a few seconds. It kept my Ninja Adversaries on their toes and prolonged the time it took for me to tap out (if I even needed to tap out at all!).

There is not Ninja Training on Fridays (thank goodness, because my shoulders have been extremely sore all week), so I worked in the yard for a couple hours and generally took it easy. Of course, I didn't put on any sunscreen again, which made my sunburn even worse.

Today (Saturday), Ninja Master was conducting Ninja Graduation (to be discussed in a minute), which meant no Leadership Class. In Ninja Masters class, we learned briefly how to escape Side Control and how to stabilize (prevent somebody from escaping) Side Control. It is pretty typical that as soon as I learn how to get out of one sort of situation, a whole new problem presents itself. Getting out of Side Control is much harder than getting out of a mount for all sorts of reasons, so I am going to have to learn how to deal with those Ninja Situations next. Ninja Sparring for an hour got pretty exhausting (as it usually does). Again, I was able to utilize some of Ninja Charlie's techniques and get myself out of bad situations. For the first time today, I was able to deliberately execute a submission on a Ninja Adversary and have it work (again, stuff that I was taught on Thursday). Nevermind that my Ninja Adversary was a white belt who I probably outweighed by about 50 lbs... the important thing is that I was able to plan a move and actually have it work. These basics were not as successful against the higher ranking Ninjas in Training, but based on the feedback I was getting, it seems like I am moving in the right direction.

After some sparring, I had some time to kill before I had to attend Ninja Graduation, so I thought I'd help out with the Ninja Basics makeup class. I partnered up with this little guy -- he couldn't have been much older than 13 or 14 to drill the techniques we learned over the week. I clearly was overlooking the details while trying to teach Ninja Middle-schooler, as Ninja Instructor (who despite having a lower job title than Ninja Chief Instructor, actually outranks Ninja Chief Instructor) spent way more time than I would have thought appropriate critiquing both of our techniques. Not a big deal though, because like I said -- this is a sport about details and adapting to your situation. After 45 minutes of review, it was time for the event I have been waiting for all week -- Ninja Graduation.

Having only seen rank advancements in class where Ninja Master hands out belts once we're all lined up at the end of our Ninja Training, I wasn't sure what to expect for Ninja Graduation. In my mind, I figured it was going to be some sort of speech followed by passing out belts followed by a round of applause. As it turns out, Ninja Master wanted to test us on the techniques we have been learning for the past 2ish months. Because there were so few Ninja Graduates, we had a one-Ninja-Instructor-to-one-Ninja-Partnership ratio. The individual attention was great because it helped me refine some of the details that I have been omitting throughout my Ninja Training. After testing over just about everything that I have learned to date (and a couple things I learned during Ninja Graduation), Ninja Master lined us all up and passed out new belts. This was the last ever Ninja Graduation ceremony, so from now on, all my rank advancements will happen during class. I am now one step closer to achieving my goal of becoming a Black Belt. Let's hope that I continue paying attention to details and stuff and am able to maintain the intensity in my training that I have had so far...

Day 17 & 18 - Guard Passing and Teaching Little Ninjas

Today was the third day in a row of Ninja Training. I have been going back to back to back this week so that I can get my Yellow Belt on Saturday before I head home for a week. Monday was probably one of the toughest days of my Ninja Training to date. I volunteered to help Ninja Master and Ninja Master's Wife train the Little Ninjas during Family Ninja Training. Back in my younger Pre-Great White Ninja days, I used to teach 3-12 year old kids how to swim, so I thought I had some experience keeping kids focused and paying attention. I'm either out of practice or not as good at keeping kids toeing the line as I thought I was, as Monday was an exhausting experience. Of course, it could have also been a combination of one Ninja Instructor, Junior Grade (yours truly) to a dozen Little Ninjas and the fact that I was learning the moves I was supposed to help teach at the same time as the Little Ninjas. Or, it could have been that one of the Ninja Instructors told me that I would be in charge of the 8 & 9 year olds by myself. Little Ninja Funny Boy and Little Ninja Funny Boy's Sidekick did not make life any easier, as they were screwing around and not focusing on the Ninja Techniques that they were supposed to learn. The other Little Ninjas were, for the most part, cooperative. I had prior commitments after Little Ninja Training which kept me from staying for Ninja Masters or Ninja Basic like I have been.

Yesterday (Tuesday, for those of you keeping score), I went to both Ninja Masters and Ninja Basics despite showing up on Saturday, thus not really needing to go to Ninja Masters. I'm glad I did though, because I really need as much practice as I can possibly get. The Ninja Technique taught to us by Ninja Master is probably over my head still, but it is good advice to keep in the back of my mind. Today's Ninja Masters provided a much more useful technique that I actually used during sparring. Ninja Master and I squared off for a 5 minute round today. That man is like a boa constrictor... he allows you to get into position and then slowly, but deliberately positions himself in a way that you know you're in trouble, but can't really do much about it. He averaged about one tap-out against me per minute. Let me say it now -- my new goal is to train hard enough to just be able to last one round against him. I am not crazy enough to think that I'm gonna win, I just don't want to lose.

Speaking of not losing, this has been a pretty productive week for Ninja Defense. Of course the higher belts that I have been rolling with are going at half-speed at first, but I think they realize that I am starting to figure out what I'm doing, so they start to pick up the intensity. Sometimes they're not able to get me to tap, but most of the time, they do. But instead of me tapping 3 or 4 times during a 5 or 6 minute round, I am only tapping once. Which is absolute improvement. The next step is to start trying to attack a bit. At this point, it isn't so that I can win the round, but rather to keep the opponent on his or her guard so I can relax the defense from time to time. The stuff we are learning in Ninja Basics -- basic guard and mount escapes will definitely help achieve that goal. Like I said -- against somebody who knows what he's doing, it won't be enough to win, but it'll do well enough to buy a few seconds of rest.

Well, tomorrow, I'm finally taking Ninja Charlie up on his offer to teach me a thing or two about jiu jistu (also known in shorthand as "BJJ"). These will be my first Ninja Private Lessons, so I'm expecting some great stuff to happen. I'll tell y'all about it tomorrow or Friday.

Day 16 - Things to do from a Side Mount

You know how some things are so obvious you completely refuse to believe that they are true until somebody shows you? Well, I had one of those moments yesterday in my 3 hour Ninja Training.

As on most Saturdays, Ninja Training began with a discussion on Ninja Leadership. Ninja Master instructed on the importance of keeping a quality "Inner Circle." While this has only been my second Ninja Leadership lesson, I have had the same progression of attitudes both times. At first, I go in with skepticism and even a bit of resentment that I am having to sit through more leadership lessons (having been saturated with these lessons for most of my life). That skepticism slowly faded, however, as I began to listen to what Ninja Master had to say. The thesis of his speech yesterday was that you need to pick your friends carefully. While he called in an "Inner Circle," I would prefer to call it my "Brain Trust." So Ninja Master suggested (in a nutshell) that the people you allow to be in your Brain Trust need to be individuals who you can count on to look out for your best interests. They can, but may not necessarily include, parents, siblings, significant others, friends. Conversely, those that are close to you, may not necessarily be in the Brain Trust (which proves to be a challenge balancing the relationship with keeping your distance). Listening to some of the Ninja Student comments and stories were interesting too. One Ninja Pupil shared with the class that he was always a follower -- assimilating whatever persona the group he was in had. But since starting the Ninja Training, he was beginning to find himself. I'm not really sure why I am choosing to share that particular story with you, the audience, this evening, except for the fact that it just sorta stuck with me.

Like myself, Ninja Master was not present for lessons last Saturday, so he didn't remember what Ninja Lessons we were supposed to learn. He opted to teach us a counter for when your opponent is trying to lock you into a "closed guard." I had the privilege of having a Ninja Partner who actually knew what he was doing. We'll call him Ninja Stu -- not because his name is necessarily Stu, but because he was a chill and patient guy (like I imagine most people named Stu are). Other than Ninja Stu being a good guy and working with me to get this stuff workable, the second hour of Ninja Lessons was pretty uneventful.

Ninja Sparring (still also known as "Rolling"), was actually alot of fun yesterday. Of my opponents, one was a retired MP (Military Police). He taught me more Ninja Basics which, like I began, were so obvious, there was know way I was going to figure it out on my own. His words were "When in doubt, grab your gi." This was so close to what I had been doing, but just far enough off the mark that the advice was pretty revolutionary. Instead of grabbing my collar like Ninja MP told me, I had been keeping my arms close with some Ninja Karate-Chop Hands. I immediately started applying this technique for the 40 or so minutes that was left and noticed that the number of times I had to tap out declined significantly.

At the end of class, Ninja Master informed me that I would be eligible for my Yellow Belt by Saturday. I'm not sure whether there is a test or anything to go with the promotion, but I did pay my $40 fee and filled out all necessary paperwork. I'm not sure if I deserve the yellow just yet, but it'll be pretty cool to level up...

Day 14 and 15 - Half Guard

Just got back from Ninja Training about an hour ago... This was my first time to do two Ninja Lessons in a row, but I have been cooped up in the house all day not studying for my last Ninja Final, so I really needed to get out of the house. And as I am paying for the highest level of Ninja Training, I figure that entitles me to show up whenever I want. So let's talk about Monday -- it was a long Ninja Session anyway since I didn't go to Ninja Training on Saturday (due to finals). Ninja Master was not there, so Ninja Chief Instructor was teaching us. Like I think I've said in the past, Ninja Chief Instructor and Ninja Master are both VERY good at what they do, they just have slightly different styles. That means instead of starting with running some Ninja Laps and having a brief discussion on Ninja Leadership, we just went straight into Ninja Techniques.

In Masters class, we have spent the past week on these half-guard escapes and are just learning slight variations on what to do depending on what position you find yourself in. I know I'm saying that alot about these lessons, but that is what it has been -- pretty close to the same moves, just highly dependent on what your Ninja Opponent wants to do. These moves are all well and good, but it takes some serious skill to 1.) Find yourself in a position that you can use the stuff you've learned, 2.) Actually remember how to pull of the technique, or 3.) Physically be strong enough to do the move. Now, all 3 factors are HUGE roadblocks, but #1 seems to be my biggest challenge right now. Generally, I find myself in one of 2 positions... flat on my back (in a Mounted Position) or on my knees tangled up in my opponent's legs (Closed Guard). I am told that we are going to learn how to escape those positions in Ninja Basics. And I have been asking the older, wiser, and more experienced Ninja Students what to do during our Sparring (or, to use some Ninja Vernacular... rolling) sessions. All of them have been extremely helpful in giving me pointers as to how to get out of the defensive positions. Which brings me to problem #3.

During Technique time (and also when Rolling with Ninja Students trying to teach me), the object is to kinda help your buddy out so that you and they can master the moves. But when you are sparring, the object is to NOT let your opponent do what they want to. So yeah, in theory, you can pull your knee in here, and grab the wrist there and WHAM-O... submission. But in actual practice, you're dealing with 250 lbs on the sternum and a very slippery wrestling buddy... makes doing textbook moves kinda tough. So you improvise. But improvising can lead to bad consequences when you leave yourself open to allowing the more experienced opponents to put you in submissions you didn't even know existed, much less know how to defend against.

So, to summarize that mini-rant... Ninja Techniques are great if you can overcome the Three Obstacles. I'm told that as I progress, I will be able to use more and more, but then advance to full-time Masters lessons when I will not be able to use them as easily for awhile. But that is a bridge that must be crossed in the distant future. In the meantime, I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing -- a little move called "Fetal Position." I'd also like to share a bit of advice that I was given by a student we'll call Ninja Professor (named because he is a professor at our local University). First a bit of a back story -- I have a genetic condition called a "benign familiar tremor," which is a fancy (and I'm convinced made up medical term) term for a shakey hand. My hands shake when I'm nervous, tired, stressed and/or hungover. And apparently after working out. At it's worse, it's a pretty significant tremor... at it's best, hardly noticeable... no matter what though, I don't eat much soup.

Anywho, back to Ninja Professor's advice. After a 5 minute "Rolling" session, he noticed the Benign Familiar Tremor. He suggested that while sparring, I should just relax because getting so tense doesn't really add much to the Ninja Experience, except to just wear oneself out. I won't lie -- at first, I was a bit defensive about my shake. But then, I got to thinking what he said. It did seem to make sense -- by relaxing a bit, maybe I wouldn't get so tired so quickly! So I gave it a shot yesterday (and today) during our sparring sessions. Believe it or not, Ninja Professor is definitely on to something with his relax philosophy. Don't get me wrong, I was definitely tapped out quite a few times over the past 2 days, but it was fewer times than last week... a definite improvement! And that, my friends, is why I'm doing this.

Day 13 - More Makeups

So remember how I ended my entry last week briefly writing about the girl who passed out as we were wrapping up our lesson? I need to clarify that a little bit because I think the Controllers of the Universe or the Karma Gods or whatever you want to call them tried to pay me back with a vengeance yesterday. More on that later. First, clarification. When that girl passed out, after I realized she wasn't faking, I was honestly a little jealous. I mean she was going all out at jiu jitsu. So intensely that blood couldn't get to her brain fast enough. Then *BAM* hit the mat. She literally could not have worked harder. And I admired that. So last night, I almost achieved the same intensity...

Like Monday, I went to both Masters Ninja Training as well as Basic Ninja Training. And also like Monday, I left absolutely exhausted. During the technique portion of the lesson, Ninja Master taught us how to counter the Half-Guard Escape that we learned on Monday. Unfortunately, my new buddy Ninja Chef (if I've been calling him Ninja Cook, I have been doing him a disservice), wasn't at Ninja Training all day yesterday, so I had to find a new Ninja Partner. We'll call him Ninja Corpse because all he did was lie (lay?) there and did not offer much in the way of a lessons partner. See, it's important while you are learning these moves that your partner offer some sort of resistance and correct positioning so that you can get a good feel for how the technique is supposed to work. But Ninja Corpse did not do any of that, meaning I probably am not a master of that particular technique. That's ok though because the Ninja Lessons are set up as a "rolling curriculum," which means that there is a set number of lessons and Ninja Master just cycles through them. It is alot like jumping into a lazy river... you just keep going and going and going...

Sparring yesterday was rough. Very rough. Again, because this was Ninja Masters class, I had a wide range of opponents when it came to ability. The White and Orange Belted opponents wore me out. I think it was a fluke when I went through a couple opponents without getting tapped out because I have been on a series of just getting beat down. Ninja Master calls it part of a "Peak, Plateau, and Valley." Clearly, I am in the middle of a Valley right now and hope for this stuff to start clicking here sooner rather than later...

It was the last round of Masters Sparring that caused me to just about mimic Ninja Fainter from last week. I went up against Ninja Buddy during my last round, partially hoping to take it easy, partially hoping that I'd learn some stuff to break me out of my funk. He definitely went easy on me and definitely offered some more good pointers, but it was definitely not the walk in the park I was expected. Once the buzzer went off and we stood up, the world started getting hazy. It was like what happens after you've had too much to drink and are about to puke. Only it wasn't puking I was worried about, it was passing out. So I immediately started shedding clothing. Actually, that's not completely true... I just took off that rug of a gi (also called a kimono... I'll have a tutorial on jiu jitsu right after finals, I promise) and sat down for all of 30 seconds before Ninja Master called us back to conclude class.

Ninja Basics was more about closing the gap, only this time your opponent is wildly flailing both fists. Again, the techniques are largely the same... kick the bad guy to piss him off and get him flailing, wrap him up, and then hip throw. My partner was not Ninja Corpse, but rather Ninja Stone Cold Steve Austin. But a nicer version of what I imagine Stone Cold Steve Austin is like. For whatever reason (I'm blaming lack of oxygen to the brain), I could not master the Ninja Basic moves last night. But Ninja Stone Cold Steve Austin was extremely patient with me, so for that I appreciated him.

Sparring in Ninja Basic was equally rough, just because I was 1.) Exhausted and 2.) Still have no idea what I'm doing. I mean, don't get me wrong, I know what it looks like when I'm wrong... I just don't know how to prevent it yet. So it has definitely been a frustrating couple of days. But Ninja Master said to keep at it and it'll start to click. I've gotta be honest -- at the beginning, I wasn't really buying into his philosophy, but the way he does things is starting to make sense. Plus, he could still kick my ass all over the place, so he definitely gets my respect. I've been doing all this complaining, but I need to clarify... jiu jitsu sucks right now, but it is still one of the greatest things I've ever done. Staying home all day studying creates a ton of nervous energy that I get to get rid of at these 3 times a week lessons. I would definitely recommend them to a friend.

Day 12(ish) - Makeup Lesson

Last night was an extra long Ninja Training Session because yours truly threw a Ninja Celebration on Friday night, causing him to stay up too late and sleep through Saturday's Ninja Training Session. For those of you that are observant, you might say... wait a sec... don't Ninja Training Sessions start at noon on Saturday and end at 3? And you want us to believe you slept through all of them? To that, I say, yes, your knowledge of what time I am supposed to train is accurate (and kinda creepy), and yes, I did sleep through almost all of them. So to make up for that, I am doing double lessons on Monday and Wednesday of this week. And of course, yesterday was Monday which brings me back to the first sentence of this Ninja Blog entry -- extra long Ninja Training Session.

Ninja Training started at 6:30 yesterday with Ninja Masters class. And with Ninja Masters class comes Ninja Masters Techniques. Ninja Cook apparently missed his first Saturday lesson, so was there with me as well (great minds think alike?). But we were both tossed right into the middle of a set of lessons neither of us knew much about. Keep in mind, Ninja Master leads the Masters lessons, not Ninja Instructor. While similar, Ninja Master tends to instruct quicker than Ninja Instructor (for obvious reasons -- his audience is generally more sophisticated and skilled in the art of Jiu Jitsu). So needless to say, it was a pretty steep learning curve that Ninja Cook and I were facing. The maneuver Ninja Master was trying to teach us was a counter to when our opponent has us in a mount and bear-hug. 30 minutes, and a couple accidental shins/feet/legs to my face later, and we kinda figured it out.

It was then time for sparring round 1. The Ninja Students in this class ranged from all skill levels -- white belt to black belt. And just depends on the luck of the draw (or whoever is standing closest) to see who you pair up against. Ninja Cook and I decided that we should start as opponents. Let me stop for a sec and talk about a life choice I have made for the past couple of days that I think is pretty relevant. Because Finals are coming up, I have been quite a home-body lately, only leaving to go eat. And when I say eat, I generally mean junk food. And soft drinks. So my diet has been less than ideal lately. So when it came time to our first 5 minute round, I was slow and pretty sure I smelt like McDonalds from all the grease and stuff I've consumed. Ninja Cook did not have much difficulty getting me to submit. Several times. And I won't lie... I got a little frustrated there at the end, after getting pinned for the 5th time in as many minutes. So I was happy to move on to somebody else -- unfortunately it was a black belt. I suppose I should say fortunately it was with a black belt because the older Ninja Students tend to be better teachers than the younger ones. So Ninja Black Belt helped me with some basics which is something I am still sorely lacking. At the end of sparring session Round 1, I was ready to call it quits, but still had a whole other lesson to go -- the Ninja Basic Lesson.

Thankfully Ninja Basics was a continuation of last week. In fact, it was just about a mirror image of last week, only instead of learning about what to do if somebody throws a jab instead of a cross. I won't dwell too much on what you're supposed to do, since it's pretty much exactly the same (get the dude close, wrap him up, and drop him). The only thing that made this lesson noteworthy was how ridiculously tired I was. Ninja Cook and I allowed ourselves a pretty liberal amount of time to get up from the mat. I decided that if I had a pillow, I wasn't going to get up at all.

Sparring Round 2 was also kinda interesting. Because I bought the more expensive lesson plan, I have the privilege of being called a Ninja Instructor myself. Nevermind that I don't know what the hell I'm doing, that is still my title. We have also had a significant wave of New Ninja Students coming to sign up for lessons. Several of those students were sparring for the first time last night, so Ninja Instructor (I really should call him Chief NInja Instructor) asked for some of his Ninja Instructor Underlings (present company included) to help teach the first time Ninja Sparrers (or Ninja Spar Virgins, if you prefer) what to do. At this point, I really just wanted to go home. Or lie there while my opponent had his way with me. But I wasn't going to get that luxury just yet. The kid I was supposed to teach thought that the object of sparring is to flail around for as long as you can. Not a bad technique if you are going for 1 or 2 minute rounds. But tough to do for a full 5. And I told him so. But he didn't believe me. So I let him do his thing for about 3 minutes and then put him out of his misery. Tough love? Probably, but that's the only way he's gonna learn. Shoot, I do the same thing and that's the only way I learn.

Listen, I could probably keep going about last night's lesson (a girl totally collapsed and passed out while we were doing announcements at the end), but I've really gotta study. I'll be back on Thursday with some more updated. Either before or after my finals...